I pulled a classic
You’re not going to believe it but I assure these are true facts. 
I didn’t have to time to make it to the gym this morning because I had to take my nephew to work. At the mortuary. Early in the morning. He was happy. I have a strange family. He slept in the mortuary last weekend because he was on call. I made it quite clear that he damn well better smudge himself before he steps in our front door and wear garlic like a pearl necklace! And whatever accoutrements are needed to stave off the occasional zombie or mummy curses. I did, however, tell him rather cheerfully not to take any wooden legs as I dropped him off. Once again he didn’t find that funny. I guess he’s not a morning person.
As usual I digress.
Well, the Farmington High School football field is ony two blocks from my work and it’s flat and in the middle of town (no bugs or bigfoots or crazy birds) plus it had the added bonus of seating around the track. This will come in handy when I have a coronary from all that fresh air and outdoorsy stuff.
I pull up and notice a few other people with a similar idea and I wasn’t too concerned. Most of them were a little robust so I felt right at home. I start my warm-up, you know, opening the car door, getting up, walking to the track, that warm-up. I have a good thirty minutes before my shift so I take off. I’m walking I nice brisk waddle. Not too fast, not too slow. I’m maybe a quarter down the track when numerous cars begin to pull up in the parking lot. LOTS and LOTS of cars. LOTS and LOTS of men start piling out of these cars.
“What the hell????”
It can only happen to me. They pour onto the field and start to… remove their shirts.
Oh my.
It’s the Rubgy Team. They are practicing this morning.
I’m distracted.
These are some fine healthy male specimens. I was twitterpated. I was mesmerized.
Suddenly I hear a voice behind me, “Hey buddy! Look out!”
Instead of looking ahead to see what was going on, I turn to look at the guy warning me and…
I ran smack dab into a pole. I mean I nailed that sucker. It was pure dumb luck that I turned to look at him rather than straight ahead or I would probably have a concussion. As it is I have a light pole tattooed to my upper torso. Thank goodness I only bounced off the pole rather than going down. I’d have had a hell of a time getting back up.
The rugby guys came over to check on me. Just my luck. A lot of them were firemen. After much assurances that I didn’t need a ride to hospital I gathered my shredded dignity and went to work.
But I got treated by a group of shirtless men ya’ll! What a great way to start a Monday!
oh sam we can always guarentee if we are having a monday morning we can count on you to make us laugh… glad to hear though you didn’t get hurt… i am sure you will enjoy the rest of your monday now…
ha ha ha brilliant Sam! I’d be the same… in fact once I fell off a treadmill once at full speed cuz I was checking out the fine figured male running in front of me… it happens!
That is toooo funny, you are so comical. Hey I think we do the same warm up LOL. One time when I belonged to the local gym I was on the treadmill and watching the skinny fit people working out there abs. Well there was this incline board they were using and I decided when they were done I was going to use it-I mean they made it look as easy as reaching for the remote. When they leave I get off the treadmill and go over to the intriguing piece of equipment and get on. I lock my feet under the bars for stabilization and lay back. Here we go now I am going to do at least ten sit-ups, wait…oh my god I can’t get up! Here I am in a gym full of people stuck on an up side down incline and I can’t off. I layed there for a few minutes-pretending I was catching my breath and physcing myself up-and really I was brainstorming on how to get the hec off of that thing. I eventually wiggled my foot loose and sort of rolled off and onto the floor. While I was down there I gathered up my dignity and went home. As a matter of fact I believe that was the last time I went, now I workout at home.
I have been reading your posts. You are soo funny! You always make me laugh so hard with your exersizing mishaps! I love it! Keep up the hard work and light attitude and you are going to loose so much weight! Also, good job for taking advantage of every oppertunity to work out!
I will have to tell ya’ll about the time I auditioned at Oklahoma City College for scholarship and ended up falling down a flight of stairs minutes after the audition. I was surrounded by people. Every step I hit my friend Karla would say, “Oh Jesus! Oh Lord! Oh my God! Every single step. I wanted to smack her upside the head and scream, “Stop praying and CATCH me!!!” I was bruised and bleeding while we completed the tour of the campus. Or the time I rolled down a hill during an outdoor performance in front of the audience and fellow cast members… or the time.. I better stop now. I could go on all day.
another interesting blog as usual
glad you didn’t get real hurt.
I think I’m going to be walking there tomorrow. Just in case. I want them to know that I’m alright. Yeah, that’s it.