Took a Header
Well, ya’ll knew something was going to happen and of course it did. First morning of exercise. I’m color coordinated and fierce. FIERCE I tell ya! Nothing will get in my way. At least that was my thought process when I stepped onto the treadmill.
That’s when everything changed. First of all I felt like I stepped into a fighter jet cockpit. There were more buttons and dials than I could count. I stood there for a good 10 minutes trying to find out how to start the damn thing. Finally a gym bunny walked over and gave me the basic rundown. I was already extremely self-conscious so I wasn’t really paying much attention. She said ON BUTTON and that’s all I needed.
Or so I thought.
She walked away with a spring in her step and I continued contemplating the shiny dials and knobs. Preeeeetty. Well, being the brain that I am I decided to just hit the on button to get it going so people would stop staring at me. Apparently a champion triathlete with a sadomasochistic streak had used it before me. I went down hard. it shot me out off of the treadmill like a salad shooter on meth.
One moment I was standing and the next I was pulling my shirt back down from around my ears wondering which way was up. I’m having vertigo issues as it is with my ear problem so I had a hell of a time standing back up. Once again the drunk hippo image came to my mind and I start giggling. Gym bunny was beside herself with horror. She couldn’t believe I went down that hard without serious damage to my extremities. I have some carpet burns on my knees but that’s about it.
There was a Navajo couple next to me when this happened and the wife asked me if I grew up on the Rez. I spent most of my childhood and adult life there so I answered yes.
“I knew it!” She crowed with delight.
“How did you know?” I asked a little dazed and confused.
“Because when you fell down you said Yęę’ ” (the two e’s are nasalized and the comma is a glottal stop at the end). Navajo is a tough language.
“I did???”
“Aoo’” she said solemnly. Then she and her husband started laughing hard. I joined in. Well, it was funny ya’ll.
Yęę’ is the sound you make when you fall down if you’re Navajo. Kind of like our oomph. There’s even a joke in navajo about people having a party at night and someone trips and falls out in the dark and says “oomph!” the Navajos all look at each other and say, “must be a missionary.” It loses something in the translation but it’s actually very funny.
Anyway, that’s how I launched my new exercise regimen. Why me Lord? 
OMG…you are so funny…
I wish I could hear you tell the story!
Oh that reminds me…
Youtube, youtube, youtube…
I will not give up…: ) You NEED to share your talent!
forget Bigfoot…you are the one we want to see!
o.k. o.k. I’m going to tell the story on YouTube - that way you can hear my girly voice and cringe in fear.
I want to hear you sing…and do your music stuff: )
I still say you have missed your calling…you need to be in the entertainment business…
I think you are a comedic genus–and then I read that you are a musician too: )
Maybe you should put together an act and post it on youtube!???
Oh WOW! That is SOOOOO funny…I laughed out loud….LOL Just get back up on that horse…you’ll be alright…LOL
I think I’m sticking to the recumbant bicycle. I don’t think it bucks.
Funny story
but might people just think it is an interesting excuse for why you have carpet burns?? :p
haha that’s a great story! you’re a great writer too, i enjoyed reading it. goodluck with the treadmill next time
Sam I’m sooooooooo glad you’re getting back to your normal self and feeling a bit better…. well, well enough to go flying off a treadmill! Maybe try the cross trainer (ye call it the elliptical) on a low resistance the next time though….. better safe than sorry!
I’d recommend elbow and shin pads and a helmet… and possible butt pads next time you get on a treadmill and start it at full speed!!!
Buttons, buttons and more buttons, i think they put all the shiney stuff on there to see how many people they can distract…LOL
Listren could have been worse, there was a girl from our church who was going to the Y to find a man… I was there one night when she came in, I was working away and she got on the treadmill, there was a cute guy she was trying to get his attention… Well she did, she turned it up as to jog and didn’t realize how far up she was, she was going so fast that she flew off it backwards and landed with her feet over her head.. He was laughing so hard, and so was everyone else that all she could do was laugh with us…
But needless to say that was her last time at the Y… she figured she didn’t need anyone else to know her there… LOL
BWAAAAAHAHAHAHA *snort*
Not laughing that you fell down. Laughing at the way you told the story. And I know exactly that Navajo sound. My husband grew up around Navajo rez. LMAOOOOOOOO
Keep up the good work, and maybe a training course first for the treadmill by lil miss gym bunny herself.
Huggggggggs,
Shan
LOL! Where was I when this miracle recovery took place? Please, sprinkle a little of that fairy dust my way!! Glad to hear your up and “running”, so to speak.
I do have to ask one question though….what the he** is a glottal stop? I must have missed that one in Navajo class… 
or any class for that matter….if it’s to much to explain, I’ll wait for it to come out on Youtube. Coming Soon….”Totahsam Live” 
I think maybe you were being to literal about ‘launching’ your new exercise regimen!
Oh I feel sooooo guilty…laughing this way…Im VERY visual and you are GREAT at relating your story. I felt like I was there and I was trying not to laugh out loud, then I realized that I wasnt there and why was I giggling on mute? Im so sorry if you were hurt badly. Its good to laugh at ourselves and to be ok with others laughing WITH you!
I’m sorry you had to go through that but DAMN that was a good laugh. Keep on keeping on Sam.