totahsam

I’ve decided that the bathroom at work has it out for me. 

Yesterday after my shift ended I realized the water pills were working overtime and I needed to “see a man about a horse.”   I had already said my goodbyes and headed out the back so no one realized I was still in the building.

We have a wonderful cleaning lady who is all of 5 foot nothing and weighs about 90 lbs. soaking wet.   What she lacks in size she makes up for in personality.  We speak Navajo together (during which she spends most of the time giggling at me because of my pronunciations)  She says I sound like that White preacher on the Navajo radio station.  He speaks veeeery slowly and over pronounces everything.   But in my defense?  Navajo is a tough language ya’ll! 

Thanks Cornelia.

When I was done I opened the door kind of quickly because I was in a bit of a hurry.  No more house fires for me when I’m not home.   Before I could even adjust my eyes or realize what was going on I was smacked three or four times and someone screamed in my ear.  I backed up and there was Cornelia.  Eyes wide, full of fear. 

“SAM!!!!  I THOUGHT YOU LEFT!!!”  She screamed. 

“Umm.. boo?”  was my witty response.

Then she said some very uncharitable things about me in Navajo and stomped off.    

I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.  She looked just like a Bantam rooster with it’s feathers all ruffled.  I get the chuckles just thinking about it. 

Today, it’s my break.  Once again with the water pills.   As I’m washing my hands the door handle rattles.  I always lock the door.   I open it up and there stands a fellow employee. 

“Sam, why do you lock the door?”  he asks with a little bit of frustration.

“I lock the door because I don’t want there to be a mistaken foot tapping incident”   I responded.

I thought it was clever….

“Huh?” he replies.

“Well, I am a Log Cabin Republican after all”  I hinted.

“Uhh… what?”  flies are starting to gather.

“I’m shy.  REALLY shy.”  

“Ohhhh… he he”  

Straight guys.