“He that is without sin…”
Comments(8) Irony.
I’ve noticed that my irony levels have risen since I started my lifestyle change. I hope they don’t reach toxic levels.
Last night is a prime example. We had roast with mashed potatoes, gravy and a nice fresh salad. I figured my portions and a LARGE portion of my meal was salad. We had some friends of the family visiting and they joined us for dinner. They are well meaning people and I love them like family. Because of our closeness they have a tendency to be candid.
Painfully candid.
As I was filling up my plate my pseudo-aunt was peering over my shoulder like a chicken eyeing a worm.
Pseudo-aunt: “Are you sure you can have that?”
Long Suffering Me: “Yes ma’am. It’s about portion sizes not the type of food.”
Pseudo-aunt: ::elaborate rolling of eyes:: “Well, I don’t know….”
I swear she looks just like an ol’ hen pecking at some feed. In fact we refer to her as the mother hen. She thinks it cute. So do we. 
Long Suffering Me: “I’m trying to get out of the diet mode of thinking. I’m changing my life style. It’s not just about eating.”
Pseudo-aunt: “You’re turning straight?!?!??!” (she screeches and hugs me)
Long Suffering Me: “Wait… what????”
Pseudo-aunt: “You said you were changing your life-style!”
Long Suffering Me: “Umm… Gay isn’t fattening….”
Pseudo-aunt: “What?” (looking perplexed)
Long Suffering Me: ”Yeah… it’s a cheat day. I get to eat bad stuff… baaaad. Veeery bad.” (I say while retreating strategically)
Yeah, yeah. I know. I lied. I’ll repent later.
Some people just don’t get it.
Oh yeah. The irony. Her plate was piled high with meat, potatoes and gravy. No salad. I just shook my head and contemplated my navel while she rattled on and on and on and on… oh one more on.
Life is funny. 
