totahsam

I went into the bathroom awhile ago and while I was washing my hands I noticed something under my chin.  It puzzled me at first.  I didn’t recognize what I was seeing. 

What is that thing under my chin?

I turned my head back and forth and sure enough, still there.  I put my hand on it.  Something is bobbing up and down when I swallow… what the he…???

OH!!!!

It’s my neck.  I haven’t seen it in years. 

Welcome back buddy!!  I’ve missed you!

I love losing weight.  It’s like archaeology.  The more the layers come off the more you find. 

Maybe Jimmy Hoffa is in here somewhere… hmm….

Yes, that’s right.  There is another side to my heritage that carries it’s own burdens.  We call it The DeArmond Curse.  Oooo… doesn’t that just send chills down your spine?  It’s French AND scary. 

And of course, I, am over-abundantly embued with the DeArmond curse.  What is it you ask?  Well let me tell you.  DeArmond men have high voices.  Don’t laugh.  It’s painful.  Years of therapy cannot heal this wound. 

This morning I was at Sonic.  Now calm down.. I SAID CALM DOWN!  I was only getting a large iced tea.  No sugar of course.   I pushed the call button and waited patiently for the attendant. 

Valley Girl:  “Umm… like… welcome to Sonic..or something”

Big Girly Me:  “Yes ma’am (notice I said ma’am. We’re polite here in the southwest.) I would like a large iced tea.”

Valley Girl: “Like ma’am… would you like the sugared tea.. blah blah blah garbledy gook.”

I got stuck on the ma’am.  I even made sure to lower my voice.  How could I possibly sound like a woman????

Valley Girl:  “Ma’am?  blah blah..gab farble blat…”

 I couldn’t focus.  All I could hear was ma’am.  Ma’am!!  grrr!!!! 

Finally I blurted out… “uhh.. I’m a guy.”

Valley Girl: “What?”

Big Girly Me:  “I’m a guy, a man…. you know a dude.”

Valley Girl:  “oh duuuuuude,  I am sooooo sorry!”

Then I saw the humor in the situation and started giggling like a school girl.  I lost all credibility as a man at that moment. 

There is a plus side to my high voice.  I can sing like a bird.  A bird castrato but a bird none the less.

Our general manager walked in with two large lemon cakes and set them on the break room table.  I guess it’s someone’s birthday.   One of the pod people I work with decided to get everyone a piece.  Awww… how nice….

When he came back he started handing it out.  When he got to my desk I just said no thank you and smiled.  I didn’t crave it.  I didn’t want anything to do with it.  Sugar!  blech!!  yuck!!! ack!!!  

I pictured myself eating a nice juicy cucumber just out of the fridge with a dash of salt and pepper.  Now that’s what gets my motor going.  yummm!!!! 

I’m so proud that I strained a muscle patting myself on the back.  :wink: 

Even the name is ugly.  I hate Wednesdays.  I have always hated Wednesdays and I will always hate Wednesdays.  I’m a creature of habit. 

I went to bed grumpy and I woke up grumpy.   Wednesdays.  Blech.

meh.

I have been observing my fellow pod people at work and I’ve been noticing some really, really bad eating habits.  Poptarts, candy bars, potato chips, HUGE sodas and various other high fat foods are common throughout the day PLUS lunch.   I realized that my own eating habits in the past were just as bad, if not, worse.  

I can’t believe how much food is put away in an eight hour shift.  I was astounded. 

My first instinct was to bring it to their attention but as usual the wisdom of my parents shines through.   I thought of one of my mom’s favorites sayings,  “Sam, nothing is more self-righteous or annoying than a reformed whore.” 

I’m keeping my trap shut.  The best way for me to show them is by example.  I’ll keep eating my salads and drinking my water AND losing the weight.  Eventually even the thicker ones will catch on. 

Instead of feeling constricted and deprived I actually felt free.  Free from food addiction and emotional eating.   I can move a lot better.  My blood sugar is amazing.   My emotional state is better.  I’m not the deprived one.  

My sense of humor is going to be the end of me. 

 I was just thinking about this being one of the few sites where large folks are popular and skinny folks are shunned.   Turn about is fair play? 

I know, I know, shut up Sam.. 

O.k., I know I’m not the only one having this problem.  I want to do more.  I want to lose faster and I want to see quicker results.   This is bad.  I know.   I’m dealing. 

I see all the wonderful results and after pics and I want to be one of those folks.  

I WANT TO DO THE SUBWAY COMMERCIALS!!!! 

Aaaaanyway,  now that my temper tantrum is over….

Anyone else ever have this problem???? 

The exercise is going as well as can be expected.  I’m not saying it’s going well and I’m not saying it’s going bad.  I’m just saying that I’m doing it and I’m not enjoying it.  

I’m sore.  I know, big baby..waaah but darn it.  I have enough pain as it is. 

So, does anyone know of a way to minimize the pain from exercising? 

 You REALLY don’t want to see a big ol’ queen like me crying.. trust me.

Sorry for not posting earlier than this but I’ve been extremely busy.   It’s Monday with a vengeance.   I’ll post more later.  In the meantime,  please feel free to enjoy the eye candy I’ve provided below:

::hold music::

Sorry I haven’t posted sooner but as usual there is drama going on in my life.

My dad was physically assaulted at the post office earlier today.   Why? Because my dad is Mormon.  The man started spouting hate rhetoric at my dad and then punched him 4 or 5 times in the face.  My dad is 76, is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s and cannot lift his arms above his shoulders. 

What have I been doing about it?  Trying to keep my several brothers and numerous nephews from killing anyone.   The whole clan is in a rage.   My dad is the sweetest, kindest, nicest man I have ever known and I have spent my entire life trying to emulate him.   He has a reputation in this valley for integrity, honor and kindness.  He has never raised his hand to another human being since I’ve been alive.   He’s never even raised his hand to me.   So you can see why my family is so angry.  

I bought comfort food.  I went straight to Dairy Queen and bought me a….

Are you ready for this.

 A salad.

Yep.  That’s right. 

No dressing too.

I’m enjoying it very much. 

Take that emotional eating!!!! 

This is my papa.   Ain’t he a sweety?  He’s only 5′ 6″

Here is the salad from Dairy Queen.  It was very tasty.  Notice I’m using the past tense already.