totahsam

First day on the track.  I ‘m determined.  I’m motivated….. and I’m color coordinated.  That part is important.

I step on to the track.  Wow, cute shoes.  Focus Sam,  focus.  I do a slow warm-up a.k.a. delaying the inevitable.  Finally I’m ready.  This is going to hurt.  I take a deep breath and…

I’m promptly chased off the track by a big 2 foot long bee!  I’m running around in circles like a demented hippo until I realize the trashcan next to me is attracting the bee, not me.  I walk away from the trashcan casually like nothing happened bruised ego in tow.   This is not starting out well.  Cute Shoes is giggling at me.  Grrrrr

I start again.  Taking it slow.  So far, so good.  Strange breeze though.  It’s only blowing on the top of my head and it doesn’t last long.  What the he…  “uhhh.. sir.”

It’s Cute Shoes.  Again with the sir.  Do I look that old?  She has a look of concern on her face.

“Yes?”

She’s looking over my head.  Oh great.  Bigfoot’s behind me.  I’m going to die horribly.  Did I mention that I have an irrational fear of Bigfoot?  Well I do.  Stop laughing.

“You may want to step away from that tree.  There’s an angry mother bird over your head diving at you.”

I looked up.  Sure enough.  There she was.

I ran screaming from the track.

I may be a country Queen but nature just freaks me out.

I’ll try again tomorrow.

Why me?

I said stop laughing…